Monday, October 24, 2011

Studies confirm: bankers are mostly non-human at the cellular level

This is no joke. Studies show that if you examine the genetic material of your typical banker, you'll find that only about 10% of it takes human form. The other 90% is much more slimy and has been proven to be of bacterial origin. That's 9 genes out of 10: bankers are mostly bacteria. Especially Lloyd Blankfein. This is all based on detailed state-of-the-art genetic science, as you can read in this new article in Nature.

OK, I am of course joking. The science shows that we're all like this, not only the bankers. Still, the title of this post is not false. It just leaves something out. Probably not unlike the sales documentation or presentations greasing the wheels of the infamous Goldman Sachs Abacus deals.


  1. The parasite bankers have come close to killing their host. The host needs a transfusion (fiscal) and a delousing (regulation).

  2. In 2006-09, the firm I was working for was looking at purchasing products similar to the Abacus deals, including deals from GS. It was absolutely clear to everyone involved that if the underlying securities defaulted, the bank selling the product would benefit -- if they didn't sell that exposure to another institution first. The flip side was that if the underlyings did not default, we would be paid a fee of some 6-8% per annum.

  3. @Anonymous

    That may be, but did your firm choose the securities, or were they packaged by GS? The complaint as I understand it is that customers were presented a package of securities that was represented as being 'fair' when in fact a 3rd party that stood to benefit from the customer's loss handpicked the securities. Hardly fair.

  4. This is really funny but what you have mentioned is not wrong also. liked it!

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  5. I agree with you and we should first conform before the reading its really fine or not thanks for share it proper sentence structure checker .